Many people believe in fate, destiny and external forces that always govern them, control them and they have to go accordingly. When people accept this, they never encourage themselves to hear the voice of their hearts. Anything that happens to their life, either they take it as a blessing or a curse. People have their own conventional rituals. They never want to overcome their image; they never try to follow their passion. They, rather, love to stay in their own comfort zone, never taking any risk. But to explore the other side of life, one must go by breaking the convention and by listening to their heart. I was one of them considering the desire for success as an unattainable height. Unless one day I woke up from deep slumber and realized- life is not about following the line; its all about creating yourself, making your own path. Life is not what others impose on you, life is what you make.
I remember that day -before the dawn- heavy wind was blowing rapidly. With the sound of door clashing; my mind too was clashing with two opposite thoughts- whether to do it or not to do it. It is because; for the first time in my life I was about to leave my home –to go somewhere far from hometown- without the permission of my parents, my family. I was at the age of seventeen, studying in grade eleven. I was young though my heart was full of passions. Passion to go somewhere new, explore something amazing, do something extraordinary. I was the boy of enthusiasm with the zeal of accomplishing great in life. So my passionate heart was always in search of new, non-ordinary; breaking the conventions. Thus, I collected all remaining courage, listened to my heart and followed my passion. I eventually decided to go for an adventure. I decided to go to another place in Nepal by myself. I opened an atlas and found that Gorkha is the best nearest place to visit. Gorkha is the land of victory from where Prithivi Narayan Shah started his journey of triumph. This land symbolically stands, for me, as an initial phase of the journey of success, the journey of victory. Therefore, Gorkha attracted me much more than other places. It lured me to summon myself in the symbolical land of victory.
Well, fulfilling passion is not that simple; when your passion is something unacceptable, something out of your control. To start my plan, I went to my parents. I asked them first to get permission and second to get money to reach Gorkha. But, being a teenager, they considered me as not matured yet to go outside. Though I pleaded many times, they denied it. They felt insecure to send me outside the town; all alone. Most people, I see are bounded with conventions. They rigidly follow the rules which have no ground. You have to do this and you don’t have to do this, this is good this is bad; many things they just follow without questioning. They accept the conventions as the ultimate thing. That is why I wanted to break that convention. Even my parents rejected to support me and didn’t allow me to go, this was not the end of my passion, my dream. I started to seek one or another way to fulfill it. I went to colleagues; though they too were not well enough to help me financially- with every friend I came with empty hands. I almost spent a whole month to raise enough money but I failed bitterly. I was from a working-class family and my friends too. So, even a hundred rupees was a high amount for me at that time.
Where there is a will there is way. I never left my passion. I was never in the position to accept it as my fate. I always thought- If I can believe it, I can achieve it. And I believed, I can do it. At that time, I’d read Paulo Coelho’s Alchemist. I was so fascinated by the journey of Santiago to the Pyramid of Egypt. As Santiago, I too had Personal Legend to go out to quest something new. His will of traveling the world led him to the way- that is being a shepherd. With thick books and a flock of sheep, he reached his destination. I too was searching for my ‘sheep’ to start the journey. One day; while I was looking to map and indulging into my own thoughts- all of sudden I realized that- I can go there without any financial backbone. I can walk the whole way, I don’t need to take buses, I don’t need to sleep in hotels. I can go there only with the few hundred rupees in my pocket. I don’t need money to begin, I need the courage to begin. I can live the life of my own way, my own rules, and my own plan. So, that very day- I didn’t know that terrible wind was some kind of bad omen or not- I packed a couple of my clothes; fasten my shoelaces and started my walk: a walk of weakening.
Success is not something readymade. It is not something that you wish or pray and you get it. It’s not something that you desire and dream and you get it very next morning. You need courage, courage enough to start. You must be bold, bold enough to endure struggle, pain, and suffering. Ninety percent of people live normal, regular life because they do not have courage enough to go outside the comfort zone. To take risks and explore new.
I started my walk from Pulchowk, Bharatpur. My first target is to reach Mugling. I needed to walk 35 KM long road to reach there. Therefore, with the first rays of the sun, I started walking. Walking was not that simple as I thought. As I passed Tikauli Jungle, Ramnagar, Jugedi and Dashdhunga my walking became more hard and tough. Piquant sun was constantly sucking energy from my body. My bag on my back felt like the heaviest thing in the world. My feet were painfully aching. I slept at the side of the road on the grass many times because of heavy tiredness. Many times I went out of water. Many times I survived with a packet of dry noodles and a gulp of water. With pressure and friction on my feet, I suffered from thela; the most painful moment was when these thela give a burning sensation. The only thing that kept me walking was my inner voice; which regularly said to me ‘suffer now and prove yourself as the winner for the rest of your life.’ So, I kept walking. It is not that my positive voice always encouraged me, many times during walking I thought about giving up. To go back, quit the journey. Not to tolerate much. I felt like, I was the foolish person in the world that is doing such absurd work. Everyone is doing their daily tasks, why on Earth I had to suffer myself. I too can, go and do the task that are easy and require no pain, suffering, and difficulties. I hardly suppressed these thoughts, and again kept walking. When the sun was at its verge; I reached Bhorley. When the day was darkening more and more, my heart was feeling insecure more and more. Shelter was my major problem. I needed to rest the whole night without any problem. Eventually, I found Gumba, I planned to sleep there. While I was sleeping one of the local Gurung family saw me and came to me with more other local villagers, they asked about my identity and welcomed me as a guest to their home. They prepared rice for me even It was late night. At that night, I evaluated my whole day’s walking. With this first-ever long walking of my life, I learned that- there is always a vast gap between reality and imagination. Things always don’t go according to your expectations. You must prepare for the ups and downs that might come to your course. You must expect the un-expectation. It’s always difficult to pursue a dream, desire, and passion. Nothing comes easily and sit on your lap. Every success requires hard work. We must suffer to get success. We must overcome our pain. We must not listen to that little voice which always distracts you on your way. You need to fight, when you go to get something, many things may come against you- the piquant sun, your heaviest bag, and even your tormenting feet. But you need to be bold enough to stand against all these by auto-suggesting yourself.
I left Bhorley early in the morning, I waved my hand to farewell Gurung family- though they praised my courage- at the same time they suggested me to go back. Because for them it is safer to go back rather than heading ahead. But I was like a harnessed horse; seeing the destination only. Many people don’t believe you unless you prove it. For them too, we must prove that it is possible. Therefore, I started my quest again with the first ray of the sun. Now, I started to get help from other people too. When we ask for help from other people many of them always help you. With their help, we can walk furthermore. I remember the line from Paulo Coelho’s Alchemist, that, ‘When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.’
While on my way to Gorkha, many people helped me during my journey. After leaving Bhorley, one car owner stopped for me, he must have seen me some sort of traveler so he asked me some questions and gave me a lift to Mugling. I rode a tractor too for a few km about 2 or 3 in the village road. In Mugling I met one lahure with heavy suitcases and TV, I helped him to put his materials into the bus. He too was heading to Gorkha, he promised to help me in need. Therefore, I took the bus. Though I had my remaining money, so I didn’t have to ask that lahure. I enjoyed the bus travel very much, now I no longer need to walk. My eyes were busy scanning all the red hills, local people, their dresses. I was from terai so every single object attracted me very much. The more I was closer to my destination, the more my heart was enjoying. In this way, in the evening of that very day, I put my first step in Gorkha Municipality. Here I eventually reached my destination. To reach there it took me a whole 2 days. I walked for a whole day, I rode a tractor, I rode a private car and public bus to get here.
When I reached to Gorkha, I slept on the big stone chautari under the Peepal tree. Silent breeze healed my pain and torment. A beautiful scenario from there energized my inner courage. I felt like recharged again. Now I could put all my burden there. That very Peepal tree stood as a symbol of victory. It was the first time in my life I was away from my hometown with my own decision, with my own lead. When I reached to destination; I felt like I’ve almost accomplished my dream.
I’ve spent ninety percent of time walking to get there and only ten percent enjoying the final destination. So, I felt that it is our journey or adventure to be enjoyed a lot because we spend most of the time on the course of the journey. It’s not like tolerating our pain until success, rather, we should learn to convert that pain into joy. Most things I remember today are interaction with that Gurung family, their hospitality and warm welcome, many people who asked about my journey and their support to me. I remember little when I reached, I remember much how I reached there. So, we must learn to enjoy our walking, enjoy our struggle. I now consider that those who can enjoy their struggle, they are the happiest person in the world because they don’t wait to be happy till their success, they enjoy the whole course of the journey in their life. Therefore, we must not wait for the final day to enjoy, we must enjoy every moment in our life. If you can enjoy your work, then nothing on this Earth can stop you from being happy.
I learned another lesson to- love of parents; the most valuable and precious thing in our human world. When I called my mother, she cried bitterly because of the fear of losing me. I learned the lesson, wherever you go and reach your destination, you must not forget your family; your ground from where you learned to walk. Our family might be wrong, but it is your task to correct them not to hate or leave them. I remember Santiago in The Alchemist too, falling into love with Fatima. Love shouldn’t be a hindrance to our aim or goal rather love must work as something creative power that always gives you the power to move ahead. Without family; there is no value to your success.
All in all, I filled my heart with passion. Passion gives you zeal, enthusiasm, encouragement, earnestness, spirit. Only with that zeal, you can enjoy your struggle. Your enthusiasm never lets your sense of fear overcome you. Success requires hard work and dedication. Hard work always works. You need to have passion enough to encourage yourself, you must encourage yourself to go through the pain and suffering, and that eventually leads you to that height, attainable height of success. This journey for me was not just a walk from Bharatpur to Gorkha. It was, on a deeper level, a walk of wakening; a journey of realization. Only thereafter I realized the value of hard work, struggle, and success. I realized success is attainable. I realized if you are bold, fortune always favors you. I realized I don’t have to live the life of what I destined for, rather I can create my life as my will. The only thing that we have to keep in mind is that if we are going through the dark, we must keep going. The other side of the darkness is full of light. We must pass our fear; we must overcome our own reflection that stops us. It is not others that control you, give identity to you; rather it is you, yourself that can give you a new identity. Therefore this very journey was the journey of self-recognition, a journey of a new identity, a journey of enlightenment.